Attachment & the Enneagram

Understanding Our Relational Patterns

The Enneagram is often taught as a personality system—but at its heart, it’s a map of how we learned to stay safe, connected, and valued in relationships. When we place the Enneagram alongside attachment theory, something deeper comes into view: our patterns aren’t flaws to fix, they’re strategies we developed to survive, belong, and love.

In this series, I explore each Enneagram type through an attachment lens—looking at how these patterns show up in relationships, under stress, and across the lifespan. Rather than asking “What’s my type?” this series invites a more compassionate question: How did this way of being make sense—and what might it be asking for now?

You don’t need to identify with every word to benefit from this work. Let yourself read slowly. Notice what resonates, what feels familiar, and what brings curiosity. Awareness—not perfection—is where healing and connection begin.